Daddy stuff…

I’ve been in a downward spiral into adulthood at a slow pace ever since Korbin was born.  This afternoon it took a severe plunge and is gaining serious speed.  I’m now officially a “T-Ball Dad”.  Signed her up, paid the fee and everything.  I even have my order form filled out for the shirt that says “Korbin’s Dad”.  There will also be a ”Korbin’s Mom” and a “Korbin’s Sister”.  We will stop at that.  If all of my family has a “Korbin’s ____” she will be the kid that I would make fun of and we can’t have that.  Besides, we’ll have to rope off a section for her ”fan club” whenever the games start.

Next stop, Hibbett.  We have to get a 10 1/2″ – 11″ glove and cleats with rubber spikes.  I complained on that one.  I thought for sure that I could get her some metal spikes so that she could stick em in some kids thigh as she was stealing second…But I digress.  I even signed up that I will be a coach if they need me to.  YES, the same me that HATES kids signed up to be a volunteer coach.  I drew the line at being a “Team Mom or Dad”.  I asked what those responsibilities included.  After I heard something about tickets and concessions I stopped listening.  I knew right then that I wasn’t interested.

Practice starts in two weeks.  That should give Korbin and I plenty of time to get out on the field and have her hit 100 balls off the tee and let me hit ground shots at her to teach her how to field a grounder.  Man, it’s kind of exciting though.  I always wanted a son that I could do that with.  I just didn’t know he’d come with a braided pony-tail, painted nails and absolutely no coordination.  The poor child can hardly chew gum and walk at the same time.  But we’re determined that come rain, sleet or snow we’re going to have her making contact and taking grounders on one knee by the first practice.  I think I’ll wait until next season to teach her the fundamentals of the 4-6-3.

So yes, the downward spiral has begun.  But I have one thing I plead of you.  I want you to form an intervention if you see or hear of me doing any of the following:

a)  shopping for a mini-van.

b)  wearing denim cargo shorts

c)  wearing my cargo shorts with a rope belt that’s two times too long tucked back into itself.

d)  wearing my cargo shorts without a belt and my “korbin’s dad” shirt tucked in it.

e)  throwing balls at the kids on purpose yelling “if everyone was like Tal…….”